Jenny Qi, Ph.D.

Writer & Scientist

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Fun times with Wendy (& the SF Vandy crew) this weekend 👯✨💕 Not shown: abundance of Asian food, crafty seagulls, & the extreme confusion caused by that photo booth

#latergram from the Clark County Wetlands Park and random snowy highway scenes. The other day I said something about the 20s meaning the 1920s and was asked to specify the century. I'm feeling a little sick & overwhelmed and trying to look towards the light, literally and metaphorically. Looking forward to the days getting longer again.

In 2010 I turned 19. Phone cameras were trash. My non-phone camera was trash. I had lost a bunch of weight the summer before and was catching up on all the young person things I hadn't done when I was shy & chubby, like wearing a bikini. I published my first poems. That summer I was mostly in Nashville doing research in lab by day and by night going to our local 18+ gay bar drinking & dancing myself into oblivion. That fall I started my senior year in college. That winter, my mother was dying, and I both knew and didn't know it. She had been sick for 4 years, and I deluded myself into thinking it would go on that way forever--her being sick and cranky and a little suffocating but alive. In the next decade, my mother would die, and no one in my family would talk about it. I would move to San Francisco and start and finish my PhD program, then my first long-term full-time office job. I would finally start dating. I would spend most of this time lost & alone & depressed and do a lot of reckless things to cope. I would have a lot of firsts. I would find my way back to writing. I would publish more poems and a handful of essays. Cameras would get better. Social media would get worse. This last decade tested me like no other. So many times, I wasn't sure I would make it, & I wasn't sure I wanted to. I would not relive my early 20s for anything. At 28, I can't imagine how much better and worse things will be, so here's to 2020 simply being new & different.

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